Specialist Support - University

Specialist Support- External 

Making a Plan: 

• Think about the abusers' routines and choose a safe time to leave, when they will not be present or nearby. 
• Consider where they will be and when. Plan a safe route where you should not cross paths, and avoid things like local taxi services in a small town, in case the driver tells the abuser where you have gone. 
• It is important that you do not tell anyone who may pass information on to the abuser. 
• You should also consider whether the abuser might be able to figure out where you are, especially by using technology. Ensure all tracking apps, or geo-location such as SnapMaps and Find my Friends are switched off. Find out more about securing your devices and your social media accounts. 
• If you think the abuser has access to your phone, messages or calls, you could use a friend's phone or buy a cheap 'burner phone.' 
• You may need to delete any searches related to looking for support on your internet history.
• Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you're in danger and they should call the police.
• If safe to do so, without the abuser noticing, pack an emergency bag for yourself and your children if relevant. In this bag keep some cash, important documents (ID documents, Passport, National Insurance Number, Driving Licence, Marriage Certificate, Financial Records, Letters addressed to your house, Student/ Staff Card), a set of keys, some clothes, any medication, phone charger and emergency numbers. This could be kept safe at a neighbour or friend’s house, so you can leave in a hurry and still have your essentials.
• Make sure you know all of the possible exits you can use. Every door, every window. Know in advance which doors lock and how the locks work, and the same goes for windows. Maybe you can just walk out the front door. If so, do that. 
• Take your children with you if at all possible. If they are at school, make sure that the Head Teacher and all your children’s teachers know what the situation is, and who will be collecting the children in future.
• If possible arrange a place to stay, this might be a home of  trusted friend or family member, but it is vital that the abuser doesn't know the location. Or you might want to go into a refuge, refuges should try to adapt their accommodation to meet your needs. More information on housing options can be found here. 
• Do your best to stay as far away as possible from the abuser so that you can break the cycle. The abuser might try to do everything they possibly can to get you to return to them. Rely on the help of family, friends, support services and/or shelter staff to keep you focused on what's most important: your safety.

• You are not to blame. 
• You are not the cause of their abusive behaviour. 
• You deserve to be treated with respect. 
• You deserve a safe and happy life. 
• You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.